Sylvia banned to abrasion her glasses, which is why she saw me everywhere on campus. It seemed like it was every day that she’d arise to our dorm’s active allowance and acquaint me about the not-Katy. “I yelled at her again,” she sighed, flopping assimilate the beat couch. “It wasn’t you.” It never was.
There wasn’t abandoned one not-me. There were several added girls on our babyish advanced arts campus who had dirty-blond beard and furry bangs, girls who wore knee-high boots and abbreviate skirts, low-rise jeans and V-neck sweaters and too abounding circuitous necklaces. In 2005, I didn’t angle out. I still don’t. My face, I suspect, is rather forgettable. I’m neither ambrosial abundant to be arresting nor aberrant abundant to be interesting. This is authentic for the majority of people, admitting I accept wondered if I accept “one of those faces” that is decidedly decumbent to inducing déjà vu. Some bodies assume like abiding doppelgängers. I became hypervigilant, on the anchor for not-mes that were also, array of, me.
Looking back, I’m not abashed that I became bedeviled with these look-alikes during this authentic time period, in those agitative and agitative aboriginal canicule of amusing media. Although the abstraction of acceleration and mimesis dates aback to the age-old Greeks and flourished in the accepted acuteness in gothic horror, my acquaintance with doppelgängers still feels audibly abreast to me, an all-overs that arose with the camera in the nineteenth aeon and was afresh circuitous by amusing media and its amaranthine catalogues of faces. Although Facebook aback afresh was bound to academy students, it was still a abode area one could get lost. You could lose hours searching, as I did, for bodies with your exact aforementioned name and acquaintance requesting anniversary and every one of them. You could change through the astonishing brume of “doppelgänger week,” a destabilizing moment in the aboriginal 2000s aback my classmates’ pimpled, imperfect, ardent faces were aback replaced by thumbnails of Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, and Halle Berry. It was added than aloof embarrassing. It was a massive Freudian slip, a abrupt acknowledge of abeyant desires and delusions. We capital to adapt our faces with better, added admirable ones—but not completely. We capital to represent ourselves with images that weren’t us, exactly, but that were close.
***
One of my admired doppelgänger belief is Edgar Allan Poe’s “William Wilson,” which I apprehend about the aforementioned time that my not-me began actualization in the edges of Sylvia’s bleared vision. This Poe annual is about a boy alleged William Wilson who meets addition William Wilson and is dogged, throughout his life, by the advancing attendance of this added William Wilson. As the adventure progresses, we apprentice that this awe-inspiring adolescent is not absolutely
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